When Julianna was about a year old my mom started calling her "Sunshine." It was perfectly fitting for this delightful little girl. Julianna is a vibrant, spirited, strong-willed, feisty, yet joyful child. She is in perpetual motion, song, dance, and oh so very dramatic. She laughs all the time, it wells up within her and bubbles over with no holding back. Jules is quick to motor down the hall (and just plain fast minus a diaper). She easily wrestles any willing participant to the ground and lavishes them with bear hugs and kisses. Julianna just makes you happy when she's around. She's sunshine personified.
This week, while she was visiting us, my mom said she had decided on Ava's name. "I'm going to call Julianna "Sunshine" and Ava "Sweetheart." Once again, it was perfect. Ava is, in fact, a sweetheart. She's a little rose. She's a soft hug. A warm breeze. A familiar melody. A lamp light in the window on a cold and snowy day. A tender soul.
While Julianna is the sunrise and the excitement and anticipation of a new start, Ava is a sunset and the contentment one feels after a fully rewarding day.
While we were shopping this week Jules noticed two older girls playing together. Curious to no end, she followed them all around the toddler clothing department. When I told her she needed to stay where she could see me and I could see her she turned and emphatically told me, "Momma! I playing with girls. I talking with girls. Now! No and no and no and NO. K !!!" (And she wasn't asking if it was okay ("K"). Nope. She was telling me.) Then, she walked toward the girls turned and smiled at me. It wasn't a mischievous smile either. It was a "this is important to me and I know you get what I am saying and thanks for understanding and letting me try to play with these big girls" smile. A "we're still good, right?" smile. Then she proceeded to hand them hair barrettes and dance for them. Every morning when she wakes up she yells from her room. "Mom-eeeeeeeee. I say Mom-eeeeeee. Hey Mom!" Then when I come in, "HEY Momm-eeee. I was calling you (giggle, giggle). What you doin'?" with a big fat grin.
Meanwhile Ava is lounging in her swing cooing to herself as she gazes about the room. Then she drifts off into peaceful slumber. She's been a great sleeper from the beginning. Very early on (I'd say in the first month) she was waking twice (12 & 5 am ish) and going right back to sleep. Then, two weeks ago Ava started sleeping from 12 pm to 9 am. Then, a couple nights ago she started sleeping 10 pm to 8:30 am. All the while, she was taking morning naps, one three hour afternoon nap, and a couple cat naps in the evening. Yeah. I can hardly believe it myself. Up until this point I haven't told anyone outside the family. I didn't want anyone to call me names.
Before mom left she kissed the girls good-bye. "Love you Ava. Sunshine." Quickly Julianna Popped her head up. "I Jewy-anna. I Sunshine! Ava Fweetheart."
So, there you have it. Our sweetheart and our sunshine. : )
Friday, February 16, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Suh-weet!
I felt a great sense of relief when Chad, the cake, and I arrived at the shower all in one piece!
Ava & I, Kimberlee, Nikki, Cindy, Kelly, and Mary Lee 
Today we held a baby shower in honor of Nikki and Jamie (my sister and brother-in-law). They are expecting a little girl in the spring. Her name will be Lainey Grace. They've been working ever so hard on Lainey's room and it shows! Jamie has built some great shelving units and it's a good thing because they hauled in the gifts today! : )
The shower was everything that Cindy, Kimberlee, and I could have wanted. It went soooo smoothly. A little over sixty ladies came to celebrate and chat the afternoon away. We decorated the fellowship hall with round linen tables, roses, ribbon, and berry garland. We wanted it soft, sweet, and elegant, just like Nikki. : )
A long time ago, Nikki told me she really liked rolled fondant cakes. So, with that in mind, I embarked on a great adventure! Several batches of sugar paste, royal & butter cream frosting, white cake batter, and one trial run later...we had a cake. From four cake books (courtesy of our public library) I've learned all sorts of new techniques, vocabulary, websites, but mostly new-found appreciation for all those special event bakers and pastry chefs! What made me most happy was that Nikki loved it and I was able to give her a special, unexpected gift. I just love that girl. Even if she wasn't my sister-in-law, she'd be my friend.
I guess you could call it a "sweet success." : ) suh-weet!
* Special thanks to JW and her friend Ann for their great input, Chad for his patience, and my mom for coming in at the eleventh hour to support!
For Monique
Strike a pose 
Ava takes turns smiling for Mormor, Julsie, and Daddy!
Just this past week Ava started smiling...all the time! It's fabulous. Once your babies start smiling, you feel a lot less like a midnight buffet and a lot more like you're forming a two-way relationship. There's a new avenue for communication, sharing feelings, expressions... it's absolutely wonderful.
Our friends Monique and Max (my favorite Bostonians) gave Ava this darling red sweater with matching shoe-socks! It is so cuddly and with this blast of Arctic air we've been getting around here...well, it's come in handy. Monique always manages to pick out the cutest outfits for my girls. It's like she's in my head and picks out just exactly what I would want. She happens to be good at just about everything though! So, it doesn't surprise me. Monique's one of those friends that you just pick-up-where-you-left-off, funny ("homey don't play that"), generous (if you're a waitress, you want her table), smart (a brilliant law student!), and well just an all-around neighborly type of gal. I sure miss her (since she's clear across the country!).
Monday, February 5, 2007
Eczema Exposed (or also known as, "Why if eczema were a country I would be conducting air strikes and ground combat manuevers")
As many of you know, February marks year #2 with our struggle against eczema and food allergies. I recall hearing the doctor say, "Well, she's got eczema." and though I was relieved to know what this skin mess was...I also knew eczema was not a 24 hour flu. And so I was right. Julianna's eczema continued to get worse as the days and weeks passed in '05. It hit a peak and plateaued about May and since then has wavered in severity and location. May was also the time we started trying solid foods out. Though Julianna was able to enjoy many new foods, all things dairy, bananas, green beans, and barley were not among them. As advised by her allergist we continue to avoid the above mentioned, and anything containing: eggs, peanuts, fish, shellfish, and strawberries. I'm not going to lie. I hate all of this. I really hate it. And some days it upsets me to the very core. Cooking is rough and proved a challenge. But, we have settled into a good, balanced diet and most likely eat more healthfully than 99% of the population. If the truth be known, though, I would take food allergies any day of the week over this skin eczema. Alas, we don't have a choice. We have both.
We've tried many different lotions, lotion combinations, skin medications, oral medications, organic, whole, concentrated, highly concentrated, two baths a day, no baths a day... Nothing really works. Or if it does seem to work, it doesn't last. We run the humidifier in the winter to keep precious moisture in the air. In the summer we keep it cooler, keep as much skin covered as is reasonable, and try not to let the temp fluctuate too much- as that causes more itchiness. I clean the Aquaphor (Vaseline) ring out of the washing machine every couple weeks, spot clean the dried blood from her sheets and clothes, and just pray everyday that someday (someday soon) she won't have to struggle with this.
Some days are easy. But some days are really hard.
As Julianna has gotten older her ability to scratch has gotten much better. So, we've tried to teach her to "tickle" her itches. I know sometimes she must think that it's a cruel joke. I've exhausted the word "tickle." It's lost meaning because I have used it so much. Yet, to Julianna's credit she tries. She tries so very hard to listen and do what we say. It's just that sometimes the need to scratch is beyond her. Those are the times she continually removes her shoes and socks, rubs her feet on the carpet to scratch them, and runs her hands back and forth across her teeth for some method of relief. Sometimes, I just let her. It just about kills me. But sometimes you've done all you can and there is no more you can do.
The desire to itch can really only be compared to poison ivy. Poison ivy on your hands, elbows, neck, back, trunk, knees, calves, and feet. There really isn't a place on her body that doesn't get irritated at some point. This makes testing for allergens nearly impossible. Skin testing is very unreliable when you can't decipher where the eczema irritation ends and the allergen prick begins. On the flip-side, the eczema makes blood testing for skin/food allergies unreliable as it greatly elevates the IGe score. (But that's another story.)
Eczema isn't cancer, I realize. And though I refer to it as modern day leprosy on a regular basis, it really isn't that either. What it is, however, is a daily struggle that requires continual day-in and day-out maintenance. And struggle makes you do some soul searching. In all of this I have to believe that there is a lesson. There is something I am supposed to be taking from this. Self sacrifice? Monetary sacrifice? Patience? Vanity? Vanity. All of them make sense but vanity makes the most. Don't we all want our children to be well received? "Oh, what a cute baby!" It kind of makes you proud (for some reason, not like you have any control over what your child looks like). Your child is an extension of you in some ways though. Don't we think similarly about our cars, homes, clothes, etc...? It makes me think about the times Jules' eczema was really bad with large patches on her face and how when I would take her shopping the store clerks wouldn't say a word to us. Yet, they would speak to the mother and child right next to us and compliment them on "what a beautiful baby." That bothered me. It made me wonder if people would count her out before they even met her, before they even talked to her. What would that mean in the future? Would she get less reinforcement simply because she had a skin disorder? That's ridiculous. Children would ask me what was wrong with her face or her hands or her feet. One time a mother, who had been watching us across the restaurant came up to let me know my child's hands looked "angry" and that Jules was scratching them a lot (just in case I didn't know). Boy, I went through a gamut of emotions on that one. In case your wondering, I did politely say, "Thank you. Yes, I know. She's got eczema." At which time she said, "You know something that might help...have you changed your laundry detergent?" Again, emotions are all over the place. "Yes. We have. We have tried just about everything we know. But, thanks." I also wanted to add (with a roar)...Yeah, two years ago we tried that! But thanks for the advice! Do I look like an idiot!?" Really, she meant only to help. I could tell. And, I wasn't mad at her. I was just mad at the situation. And I was sad.
Vanity? How could it be vanity? Me? I put my hair up in a pony-tail every day. I hardly wear make-up. I shop at TJ Max. I don't even like buying brand named clothes. Heck, I don't even use hair spray! : ) But, that's not really what vanity is. Is it. Vanity is the love of self, the focus on self. Self coming first. Self-centered. Self-focused. I've discovered you can live simply and still be vain. I don't think a lot of people get that. I don't know that I did either. In fact, I am still trying to figure it out.
I have a call into Carley, though. I'll let you know what she says. (ha, ha)
It needs to be said that I am very, very thankful for all of my blessings. A high school friend once gave me a book called "14,000 Things to be Happy About." Truly there are too many to count. And, if I were to add them all up, there would be no comparison that the good so far out number the bad. But I wanted you to know about this struggle I have. Tonight I wanted you to hear me and help me carry this burden because I was just a bit weary and I needed some help.
We've tried many different lotions, lotion combinations, skin medications, oral medications, organic, whole, concentrated, highly concentrated, two baths a day, no baths a day... Nothing really works. Or if it does seem to work, it doesn't last. We run the humidifier in the winter to keep precious moisture in the air. In the summer we keep it cooler, keep as much skin covered as is reasonable, and try not to let the temp fluctuate too much- as that causes more itchiness. I clean the Aquaphor (Vaseline) ring out of the washing machine every couple weeks, spot clean the dried blood from her sheets and clothes, and just pray everyday that someday (someday soon) she won't have to struggle with this.
Some days are easy. But some days are really hard.
As Julianna has gotten older her ability to scratch has gotten much better. So, we've tried to teach her to "tickle" her itches. I know sometimes she must think that it's a cruel joke. I've exhausted the word "tickle." It's lost meaning because I have used it so much. Yet, to Julianna's credit she tries. She tries so very hard to listen and do what we say. It's just that sometimes the need to scratch is beyond her. Those are the times she continually removes her shoes and socks, rubs her feet on the carpet to scratch them, and runs her hands back and forth across her teeth for some method of relief. Sometimes, I just let her. It just about kills me. But sometimes you've done all you can and there is no more you can do.
The desire to itch can really only be compared to poison ivy. Poison ivy on your hands, elbows, neck, back, trunk, knees, calves, and feet. There really isn't a place on her body that doesn't get irritated at some point. This makes testing for allergens nearly impossible. Skin testing is very unreliable when you can't decipher where the eczema irritation ends and the allergen prick begins. On the flip-side, the eczema makes blood testing for skin/food allergies unreliable as it greatly elevates the IGe score. (But that's another story.)
Eczema isn't cancer, I realize. And though I refer to it as modern day leprosy on a regular basis, it really isn't that either. What it is, however, is a daily struggle that requires continual day-in and day-out maintenance. And struggle makes you do some soul searching. In all of this I have to believe that there is a lesson. There is something I am supposed to be taking from this. Self sacrifice? Monetary sacrifice? Patience? Vanity? Vanity. All of them make sense but vanity makes the most. Don't we all want our children to be well received? "Oh, what a cute baby!" It kind of makes you proud (for some reason, not like you have any control over what your child looks like). Your child is an extension of you in some ways though. Don't we think similarly about our cars, homes, clothes, etc...? It makes me think about the times Jules' eczema was really bad with large patches on her face and how when I would take her shopping the store clerks wouldn't say a word to us. Yet, they would speak to the mother and child right next to us and compliment them on "what a beautiful baby." That bothered me. It made me wonder if people would count her out before they even met her, before they even talked to her. What would that mean in the future? Would she get less reinforcement simply because she had a skin disorder? That's ridiculous. Children would ask me what was wrong with her face or her hands or her feet. One time a mother, who had been watching us across the restaurant came up to let me know my child's hands looked "angry" and that Jules was scratching them a lot (just in case I didn't know). Boy, I went through a gamut of emotions on that one. In case your wondering, I did politely say, "Thank you. Yes, I know. She's got eczema." At which time she said, "You know something that might help...have you changed your laundry detergent?" Again, emotions are all over the place. "Yes. We have. We have tried just about everything we know. But, thanks." I also wanted to add (with a roar)...Yeah, two years ago we tried that! But thanks for the advice! Do I look like an idiot!?" Really, she meant only to help. I could tell. And, I wasn't mad at her. I was just mad at the situation. And I was sad.
Vanity? How could it be vanity? Me? I put my hair up in a pony-tail every day. I hardly wear make-up. I shop at TJ Max. I don't even like buying brand named clothes. Heck, I don't even use hair spray! : ) But, that's not really what vanity is. Is it. Vanity is the love of self, the focus on self. Self coming first. Self-centered. Self-focused. I've discovered you can live simply and still be vain. I don't think a lot of people get that. I don't know that I did either. In fact, I am still trying to figure it out.
I have a call into Carley, though. I'll let you know what she says. (ha, ha)
It needs to be said that I am very, very thankful for all of my blessings. A high school friend once gave me a book called "14,000 Things to be Happy About." Truly there are too many to count. And, if I were to add them all up, there would be no comparison that the good so far out number the bad. But I wanted you to know about this struggle I have. Tonight I wanted you to hear me and help me carry this burden because I was just a bit weary and I needed some help.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Bet You Never Knew...
Bet you never knew they carried metallic pink purses with sequenced flowers in the Australian Outback. : )
Beautiful Dreamer
What a little cuddler this beautiful dreamer is. Ava is just such a sweet pea. I've never known such an easy-going little babe. In so many ways she makes parenting a second child...simple. Her go-with-the-flow personality is a refreshing dose for us and one I am VERY thankful for. She cries when she's hungry. Sleeps when she's tired. And, says "wah. wah....Wah" when she wants a little snuggle time. Her absolute favorite position is looking over our right shoulder. She is out-growing her newborn clothes and fills out the newborn diapers well...but will be moving onto #1s soon. We haven't been to the doctor lately so I don't know what she's weighing. I am guessing 10-11 lbs. Julianna continues to adore her. In her highest voice she says, "Oh Ava. You're so sweet. Sweet Ava. My baby sis-uh. Hey Ava, it's me Jewy-anna."
Every Snowman Has Its Day in the Sun
This was the finished project. A tall, sturdy, and stately snowman. However, today our snowman has been reduced to one small stump in the front yard. Julianna has been highly intrigued with the changes its made over the past two weeks. At first, every time the hat fell or an eye popped off she would yell, "Mommy! Snowman hat fell off. Help it. I help it!" Then we would bundle up or stop on the way to the car to help the snowman. Though, as the days passed she seemed to accept that our snowman was changing and it was just better to enjoy him for as long as she could.
We are going to have some big changes coming up in the next six months. I will be posting on that soon, right now it's just not time. Right now it's time to enjoy where we are in the moment and take the changes as they come.
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