Julianna remains such a vibrant, inquisitive, tender little soul. She asks so many questions during the day...who's that, what's that about, why is that, where is that...are you happy, are you sad, is he laughing or crying... She speculates. She guesses. She analyzes. Oh how she analyzes. She's independent. "I want to do it myself. I want to walk, not ride in the cart. I want to pour it. I want to hold it. I want to put the socks and shoes on myself. I want to write on it. I want to..." She has started to turn off lights or the tv when she leaves the room. Put her clothes in the hamper. Take her dishes to the sink, say thank you for the food, and askes to be excused. She's a negotiator. "How about a milkshake? Just a little bit. Just a small bit in a small cup. How about now, please? How about I climb up to the table and we make a milkshake...just a little one. Hmm? Pwease? Wouldn't that be so nice?" (add a sweet smile and tilt of the head) She's a diplomat. "Guys! Dat's enough. Come on now. No yelling. Just settle down a bit. K?" (We actually weren't yelling. Chad was teasing me and I was emphatically defending my case. : ) But, we did acquiesce and promise to keep it down a bit ; ) She's got my number. Just before she's going to time out or receive some other sort of discipline, she says (in an extremely heartfelt manner), "Sorry mom, I'n sorry. I no do it anymore. Sorry. I give you a hug. Come here." To be honest, most of the time it is heartfelt and sincere and she stops. But, not always. : )
Really, Julianna's personality has been the same from day one. But, there has been one big change. For the past five months Julianna has become VERY cautious. Last summer she exhausted herself jumping into the pool under the Texas sun. This year. No jumping in. I couldn't even get her (for two hours) in the pool, let alone dip the tip of her toe in. Finally, after much mild coaxing she agreed to sit in an inflatable boat on the side of the pool. She then proceeded to bunker herself into the boat with various other floatation devices. An inner tube. Three floaties. Two noodles. Two rafts. And several large balls. Other children are throwing themselves into the water, drinking gulps of water, splashing, climbing...begging for more time in the water. Daily, Julianna asks if something is scary ("carry"). Let's go for a walk Jules. "Okay, it not be carry?" The slide at the playground? No thanks. Jump on the trampoline? Clings to me for dear life and practically crawls up onto my shoulder. Is this my Julianna? You see, I totally had her pegged as a dare devil. A limit-pusher. But, instead what I see (for the first time) is a little bit of myself. A girl that is more shy than not. A girl that is going to weigh the decision probably more than once. A girl that will need some encouragement to let go and leap. But, who will also need to be let to wait on the side until she's ready even when it's hard to just wait. Even when waiting doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me. So that's the chapter in the book of life I've been reading these past few months. I want Julianna to trust herself, her inner voice, her conscience. And for now, I think the best way to help nuture that is to let her make her own decision about when to try, when to trust, and when to jump. And...I'm good with that.
